The Kings bad day
by Ithilis Genavive
Summary: Denmark's had a Really bad freaking day! and he wants to tell you about it, contains yaoi..lots of it! ;


Today has been a really fucking bad day for the king of northern Europe, wanna hear about it?,no? too bad cause I'm gonna tell you anyway. Okay so first I went to Finland's house but Finland and the Swede weren't home, just their little kid Peter er Sealand was home, anyway the kid had wanted a story so I told him about the time that his "momma" beat the living fucking shit out of that commie bastard..I mean Russia. So the kid totally freaked out on me! I'm pretty sure I mentally scared him but hey he had to know what kind of pimp his "momma" was and still is!, then that dog um..Hamandtomato or something started biting my shoe so I sold the bitch to Russia. Apparently both of these thing were a bad choice, when Finland came home to a missing dog and a son who was shit scared of him, he got his rifle out and started shooting me I'm pretty sure I shit my pants a little it was so fucking scary! never mess with a fin kids..EVER!, He chased me to the border and threatened to "shoot my goddamn balls off if I ever step foot in Finnish or Swedish territory again!" yeah cause you know they're married. Lucky for me I made it out with only a few holes in my clothes, also Sweden was pretty pissed to but he's always pissed at me, So when I got home I found my Norge in the kitchen looking all sexy putting butter on his toast and what not, so like any good boyfriend I started flirting him up, and ended up sticking my hand down his pants, he's was all blushing and stuff and that's when I heard the distinct "Holy Shit" of a cock-blocking asshole! I mean Iceland. Norge took my hand out of his pants and bitch slapped me twice! I mean come on! Twice! then he left with Iceland, so needless to say I was upset and the only thing I wanted to do was drink so I called up my drinking buddy Prussia. He and I were drinking and having an awesome time when he got a call from Austria, Austria was pissed to have woken up to an empty bed and Prussia was just like "calm down bro" Austria hung up and marched his ass to my place. When he got here him and Gilbo were yelling all up in each others faces and I was all like "cool beer and a show" but then it switched, it had started with "YOU'RE ACTING LIKE SUCH A FUCKING GIRL RIGHT NOW!" and "YOU ARE SUCH A DAMN FOOL!" but had ended with "...I-I just don't understand why you couldn't leave a note or something...I was worried about you.." and "Oh man Specs I'm sorry, Awesome me maybe should have said something" then they kissed. Now I don't mind them making up and shit but when Roddy wrapped his leg around Gilbo's waist I was like "WHOA, Whoa! dudes get a freaking room" so they did...My room, and then later I started hearing noises and no not just make out noises I heard moaning and panting and "B-Bitte Gilbert Bitte mehr! ah~ so good" and "Scheiße Roddy your so tight nng mm~" I knew I had to get My ass out of there..after throwing up of course. So I ran down and ended up in my buddy Netherlands' place and I was about to knock when I heard moaning and panting and "Uh oh Lars more! d-don't stop please nnnngh mon dieu~!" and "mmm Mattie ahn god~ you look so pretty spred out like this"...Netherlands..was Fucking Canada. Yes I know who Canada is! problem? no? good, Anyway I ran away from there and into Germany's place when I heard panting and moaning and "Ve~ Germany nnng harder Germany please!~" along with "Ja mein liebe" and grunting. Again I ran away like my asshole was on fire and ended up in Switzerland's yard..I got shot at and ran away again,thank god Switzy's not as good a shot as Finny or I'd be missing an ear, I realized once I stopped I was in France's place so I went to his place, I knocked on the door and no answer huh weird. I kept walking and Ran through Italy because I heard the distinct sound of "ahn nnng Bastardo h-hurry up~!" and "I don't want to hurt you lovi"...Anyway I ended up in Greece's place and thought I could go sight seeing, It was pretty awesome until i heard moaning and panting and "g-go faster y-you stupid *moan*head" along with "sh-shut up Feta bread *grunt* you're such a brat" I ran all though the middle east and ended up in China. As I was walking through I noticed how quiet it was..that is til I got near Japan then I heard "ugh ah A-America-San *moan* it hurts" along with "shh its okay, I'm your hero *grunt* Ran My ass to cold commie...I mean Russia. It seemed I couldn't get a Break its like get out of japan having sex, find Russia and China fucking! all like " Ivan nnng I-Ivan n-not so hard~aru" and "mmm my beautiful Yao-yao *moan* is so warm and tight" DO I NEED TO FUCKING SAY I RAN AFUCKINGGAIN!? because I did. Then I remembered Finland would shoot me if I got on his land and I caught a moan and someone groaning before saying "M'Wife" god I hope Peter isn't home, So I ended up In Lithuania And Fuck Damn it he was Getting Fucked by Poland..like really hard. AND I FUCKING RAN TO THE MOST SEXLESS PERSON I KNOW! England! but when I got there "Oh Angleterre~ you ass is like a virgins!" and "s-shut up git! shut up and Fuck me hard Francis" I was in so much shock I walked home! fucking Walked. When I got there Norge was in the living room, but I was too shocked to stick my hand in his pants and went to my room instead...That Night he came into my Room and we fucked louder than any couple I heard today...so maybe it wasn't that bad of a day for me, Mathias Kohler, personification of Denmark and King of northern Europe.  
"Does that answer you're Question kid?" Sealand stared at his Uncle Denmark for a second before responding "Uncle Denmark I never asked you what your day was yesterday...I just wanted a bed time story" at that exact moment Sweden who had heard the last part of the story entered the room "...Oh hey Berwald you're looking terrifying as always...heh do you want something to drink? Bleach, the blood of a virgin?...Nesquik?" Needless to say a pissed off Swede is almost as bad as a pissed off fin.


End file.
